Feeling like your energy isn’t your own, like it’s a leaky faucet, like it’s constantly being given away is a common experience for women. Many of us struggle to protect our energy because we’ve been taught to prioritize others’ needs over our own. But here’s the truth: Your energy is finite, and it’s yours to protect.
Boundaries are the key to safeguarding your energy, but for many of us, they feel elusive or even unsafe. This is especially true if you’ve experienced trauma, where boundaries may have been ignored or punished. The good news? By embodying boundaries and building self-trust, you can create a sense of safety and balance that allows you to protect your energy with confidence.
Why Protecting Your Energy Feels Hard
Protecting your energy isn’t just about saying “no” more often—it’s about rewiring deeply ingrained patterns. Here’s why it can feel so challenging:
- Self-Trust is Fragile: If your boundaries were violated in the past, you might struggle to trust your own needs and instincts.
- Fear of Rejection: Saying “no” can feel risky, especially if you’re worried about losing connection or approval.
- Nervous System Overload: Trauma can keep your nervous system stuck in survival mode, making it hard to access the calm, clarity needed to set boundaries.
- Cultural Conditioning: Many of us are taught that being “selfless” is virtuous, while prioritizing ourselves is selfish.
The key to protecting your energy lies in reconnecting with your body, having a nervous system that can regulate, rebuilding self-trust, and creating boundaries that feel authentic and sustainable.
What It Means to Embody Boundaries
Embodying boundaries means more than just saying “no”—it’s about feeling boundaries in your body and trusting yourself to honor them. When you embody boundaries, you:
- Feel grounded and resourced, even in challenging situations.
- Trust your instincts and needs without second-guessing yourself.
- Communicate your limits with clarity and compassion.
- Create a sense of safety and balance in your relationships.
How to Protect Your Energy: A Body-Based Guide
These practices will help you embody boundaries, build self-trust, and protect your energy in a way that feels safe and sustainable.
1. Reconnect with Your Body’s Wisdom
Your body is a powerful guide when it comes to boundaries. Start by tuning into its signals.
Try These Two Steps:
- Build a non-negotiable nervous system daily practice, so you can move through challenging situations more ease-fully.
- Commit to creating felt safety in yourself, so you can trust yourself and express your needs and boundaries confidently.
- Explore the edges of your capacity ~ slow, titrated practices are best here. This helps create lasting change, and avoids driving the stress of boundaries deeper.
These practices help you build awareness of your needs and limits.
2. Build Your “Boundary Muscle”
Boundaries are like muscles ~ they get stronger with practice. Start with small, low-stakes situations to build confidence.
Examples:
- Say “no” to an extra task you don’t have capacity for.
- Set a time limit for a draining conversation.
- Take a break when you feel overwhelmed, even if it’s just for five minutes.
Each small act strengthens your ability to protect your energy.
3. Create a “Boundary Anchor”
An anchor is a somatic tool that helps you feel grounded and resourced when setting boundaries.
Try This:
- Think of a time when you felt strong, safe, and confident.
- Close your eyes and recall the details ~ what you saw, heard, and felt in your body.
- Place a hand on your heart and take a deep breath, anchoring in that feeling.
- Use this anchor whenever you need to set a boundary or protect your energy.
4. Surround Yourself with Support
You deserve relationships where your energy is respected and valued. Seek out people who honor your boundaries and encourage you to prioritize yourself.
Ask Yourself:
- Who in my life makes me feel safe and supported?
- How can I spend more time with these people?
- What boundaries do I need to set with those who drain my energy?
The Gift of Protecting Your Energy
Protecting your energy isn’t just about saying “no” to others—it’s about saying “yes” to yourself. When you honor your limits, you create space for more joy, peace, and authenticity in your life.
This journey won’t happen overnight, and that’s okay. Every time you tune into your body, set a boundary, or prioritize your needs, you’re building self-trust and reclaiming your energy.
Your Turn: Take the First Step
What’s one small way you can protect your energy today? Maybe it’s saying “no” to an extra task, setting a time boundary, or simply pausing before you say “yes.” Whatever it is, know that your energy matters—and you deserve to protect it.
— If you’ve ever struggled to speak up, felt your voice shake in high-stakes moments, or questioned if your words truly mattered, this practice is for you! —
Click HERE for immediate access to the FREE “Find Your Voice” Guided Audio Training.
Take 11 minutes to activate the power of your voice with this guided practice. Includes: Grounding, breath-work and voice-work exercises to help you regulate your nervous system and build a confident voice.
Hi, I’m Elise Besler! I’m a Somatic Voice, Boundary, and Secure Attachment Coach, specializing in helping women leaders, creatives, and visionaries find their authentic voice, build secure relationships, and set boundaries with confidence. If past experiences have made you feel like you couldn’t have these things, I’m here to show you that you can.
Through a blend of somatic voice coaching, nervous system wisdom, embodied confidence, and powerful communication strategies, I’ll help you show up fully—both in your life and your work. Ready to be heard—fully and unapologetically? Let’s connect. 💌 hello@elisebesler.com
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